Matthew Sooby

“My through-line is helping people get in touch with the parts of themselves that have been cut off as a mechanism for surviving what they could not yet feel.”

You’ve spent a lifetime trying to suck it up or push it down but it’s not working. Something finally cracked or something has been missing for a while. Maybe you yelled at your partner and regretted it later. Maybe your family doesn’t understand why you stay in your room. Maybe you sit in your car outside work, anxious to go inside, and you’re unsure why. Going through the motions. Not sleeping well. Drinking more than you should. 

I work with clients navigating anxiety, identity shifts, relational patterns, and the struggle of holding it together when life feels unstable or uncertain. My through-line is helping people get in touch with the parts of themselves that have been cut off as a mechanism for surviving what they could not yet feel. This can be especially true for men who have been taught to “rub some dirt on it” or “walk it off.” Trauma survivors who have learned to do the same to keep going. Boys trying to figure out how to be men in today’s conflicted world. Women who protect themselves by forcing composure, but at a cost. The work is different in each room. The thread is the same.

You may be here because someone you love asked you to come in, or because something has gotten too loud to keep ignoring. Whatever brought you in, it is not a sign that something is wrong with you, or with your partner, or your child. It means something difficult is happening under specific stressors and circumstances—often without clear language for what is going on. 

Together, we build that language. We start with what you can name: anger, withdrawal, numbness, avoidance, trouble in the family. From there, we learn to check in with what is happening in your head, your body, and your heart. I watch for what gets overlooked when you are too close to the problem.

Most people I sit with were taught early to disconnect from their bodies. By the time they walk in, they often can't tell the difference between tension and fear, between fatigue and grief. My work integrates breathwork, body awareness, and emotional processing alongside conversation. Some sessions are talk-heavy. Others use breath and body-based skills to regulate stress, work with anger, or get back in contact with feelings that have been off-limits. You leave with practices you can use outside the room, not just insights about why things feel hard.

If you are a parent reading this for your child, I bring the same care and directness to my work with teens, including boys who are grappling with what it means to be a man. The first session typically includes you. After that, your child and I work together while I keep you appropriately in the loop. If they aren’t ready to come in yet, I also see parents on their own. We work on what you're seeing at home and how to invite them into therapy when the time is right.

I came to this work later than most and learned a lot along the way. I was once in the position of losing my own battles and not having the slightest idea of what my path was, and I wanted to help people when they felt lost too. I've learned to embrace my path instead of living in shame from it, and I hope to do the same for you.

The mountain 

This is my favorite metaphor for the work. I am not looking down at you from the mountain top. I am not the expert on what is best for your life, speaking from on high. I have my own mountain I am climbing, just like you. What I can offer is professional expertise from my vantage point, a perspective that can be hard to see when you are struggling with your own climb. I work to help you navigate the ascent of your own life. You are the only master of it.